I played softball in my 30′s for the company softball team. I hope there are no photographs lying around from that time. I wore number 11 and I broke my nose while on the team. I was mediocre as I am in all sports. I never got married so from the news reports, the Wall Street Journal and conversations therefore I must be a lesbian. Softball and never getting married. But I have been in a committed heterosexual relationship for over 25 years so I know their thesis is wrong.
But I know several men and women who are over the age of 40 or 50 and have never been married. Each has a different reason: some were just picky, some though their careers were more important and most never met the person they wanted to share their lives with. Most are great looking but some not so much but all have a fulfilling life. They created a life with out a partner. support themselves in a middle class life style and have good careers.
Here is were great life story writing can take place! All of these people made choices. Some choices were forced on by circumstance but some a clear cut choice. Some of the choices were right in retro-spec and some were wrong. Some of these people may have regrets. Some of the choices were easy and some were not. These questions are fodder for great life story writing. And it does not matter if you are single or married, once married but divorced all the things we chose have a story that should be shared with our families. It is the why that most of us want to know about and those are the great stories to write.
The one thing I can tell you that most of these people were not trail blazers trying to create a new life style and for my many good friends that never married they are not gay or lesbians and most have not lost hope that Mr or Ms Right may still be out there for them. At one time women who did not married were called spinsters and many of family had what they called a “maiden aunt.” I would love to hear their stories about their choices and if they had regrets.
I have gay and lesbian friends that should be writing for their children about their live stories too. Their children will want to know about the choices they made and know the whys of the stories too. But what I think if you asked my straight friends or gay friends about their sexuality they will honestly share that information with you. There are 100′s of signle men and women over the age of 40 or 50 and if you ask them about their sexuality the will answer truthfully. A product of that generation now.
Whether Elena Kagen should be on the Supreme Court is for another discussion, one about politics and policy. But the one thing I can tell you is her playing softball is not a hint at her sexuality but a precursor that she may know how to punt or hit the fly ball depending on the situation.
